Stillness Feels Strange: Overcoming Boredom in Recovery

When we think of recovery, we often think of the triumphs and milestones: 30 days sober, 1 year sober, 5 years sober, and so on. It gives this idea of recovery as a sort of grueling path full of breakthroughs and triumphs.

This is true in many ways; the journey is difficult, and the longer you stick with it, the more success you have in countless other areas of life. People typically prepare themselves for the moments of chaos where they will have to resist the urge to pick up a substance or get a drink. However, triggers in recovery are not always big or dramatic. One of the hardest and least-discussed parts is actually quite simple: boredom. 

Why does boredom hit so hard, especially in recovery? For one, substance use, regardless of what it is, acts as a sort of filler in your day. Take, for example, an individual who has a substance-use disorder (SUD) with alcohol who always drinks while they watch television before bed. Or on a Friday night, and they don’t have plans, so they opt for the easy solution - the bar. When you start recovery and you take that substance away,  there is a gap. Instead of watching television with a few drinks, maybe now you decide to drink water or soda and find it to actually be less enjoyable than you remember. On a Friday night, instead of going to a bar or the liquor store, you choose to stay in. Where alcohol used to fill the gaps physically in your life, there is a space left that needs to be filled.

Furthermore, boredom in recovery hits so hard because for many, their substance use is tied to their social life. Following the same example of someone with an SUD with alcohol, social settings such as bars, clubs, and parties may become more difficult or even impossible to join when in recovery, especially early on. As a result, one will end up missing events that they would normally join in on.

Boredom can feel unbearable at times. Whether you are in recovery or not, we have all experienced the feelings that come with being bored - loneliness, isolation, restlessness, frustration, just to name a few. 

However, as uncomfortable as it can feel, boredom is not a setback or a sign of failure. In reality, it is an opportunity to learn and grow. Recovery doesn’t just happen in the moments where we are faced with a big, dramatic decision - so much growth happens in the stillness.

Boredom is part of learning to live without chaos, learning that life doesn’t have to be constantly moving and exciting for it to be worth living. It also offers us opportunities to learn about ourselves better and maybe discover talents we didn’t know we had. It does not have to be the thing we dread; we can look at it as a sign of newfound stability and peace. The individual in recovery from an alcohol SUD chooses to stay home to learn painting instead of going to the bar on a Friday night, only to realize they have an unknown talent for working with watercolor. That talent then becomes a consistent hobby in their life and even an outlet for uncomfortable emotions they experience through recovery. A talent that would have been left undiscovered had it not been for the discomfort of boredom.

Dealing with boredom during recovery is normal and to be expected. In recovery, many aspects of your life change, many of which you don’t realize until you’re in it. But this doesn’t have to be your new reality - here are some tools that can help: 

• Physical activity (walking, weight-lifting, martial arts, sports clubs) 

• Journaling 

• Cooking 

• Classes (pottery, knitting, yoga, dance) 

• Learn a language 

• Board games, puzzles

• Art (clay, painting, drawing) 

• Volunteer 

• Pro-social events 

• New morning and bedtime rituals 

While this list is helpful for when you are looking for ideas, sometimes you are just so bored that nothing seems appealing. In that case, it is okay to accept downtime for what it is: sometimes it is a signal that your body and your mind need rest. Life is not always exciting, and it doesn’t have to be, whether you’re in recovery or not. But in a world that once felt unpredictable, overwhelming, and chaotic, boredom is proof that a calmer life is possible. 

Check out RISE Recovery Support Center @ 497 Belleville Ave in New Bedford, they are always planning fun pro-social events and peer groups!